I was reading a message from my sisters this morning. (I missed the whole conversation last night and had to catch up.) I realized something from that conversation. I’ve been doing everything but what I know I am called to be doing. Have you ever had that happen??
I was sitting here this morning writing about distractions, and got distracted with several things which led me to read the messages I missed last night. Distractions come in all shapes, sizes and forms. There are good distractions and bad distractions. Unfortunately, when you are like me, distractions come all day long like pesky mosquitoes bombarding you when you are trying to sleep. I’ve never been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, but I have a feeling if they were diagnosing that when I was a kid, I would have been labeled. I’ve always struggled with sitting still, paying attention, hearing directions. I hear the first step and I’m gone….my mind is already on step one, while the person is still going through the steps. I have to keep going back and asking for the next step, and I’m sure its frustrating to the person trying to show me something. That’s why I learn so much better by doing things. Don’t try to explain it to me, show it to me. Just don’t let any butterflies fly by while I’m learning or I’ll be looking at the butterfly. The jokes you see on facebook are just jokes, but for people like me, they are real. Oh, look at the squirrel, I mean..butterfly.
I had been praying the last few days that God would show me where my focus needs to be. There are so many options out there, and my mind grabs a little piece of each one and thinks “Oh, I like that one!” Unfortunately, I like them all. I want to grab a little piece of each thing I see and try it all. This doesn’t work when you are starting a business. There has to be a singular focus, one goal. Otherwise you will never know how to measure your success.
You might think there is a formula for prayer. I heard something on the radio the other day, “Prayer is a process, people don’t understand how it works.” Maybe they’re right. Or maybe, just maybe, prayer is just me talking to my Father. Sometimes it’s me begging for answers from someone who wants to give them to me in the first place. Sometimes it’s just crying and not even knowing what to say. Sometimes it’s a spoiled child demanding that God give me what he’s promised. Any of that sound familiar. Well, this week my prayers started off like the spoiled child, then migrated into crying and not knowing what to say and eventually became “Abba, I trust you, or at least I’m trying to, I need you to show me. Give me the creativity that I need. Help me to be who I’m supposed to be, who I already am but can’t seem to find.” Then this morning…light bulb.
My light bulb moment came when I realized I had lost my initial focus. I have known for a long time my calling, if you will, is to help people see their value and beauty exactly how they are today. But life, and new shiny things and butterflies distracted me. I started reaching for ALL the things instead of focusing on one thing. When the one thing didn’t bring fast results, I thought maybe if I had fifteen little feelers out there instead of one….That may work with some things, but really in the end it only divides your attention in so many directions that you can’t focus on the one most important thing.
For me the one most important thing is people. Mainly my focus is on women, because I am one and sometimes I can relate. But really my focus is on all people. I have two sons who struggle in different ways than I do, but they still struggle with seeing their own value and beauty (or handsomeness if you want to look at it that way). It is so easy for me to see the beauty in other people, yet look at myself as if I need so much work to even come close. I often wonder if I’ll ever measure up and if I’ll ever be good enough. I have to be reminded frequently that I. AM. ENOUGH.
You may be asking, where does the craft come in? I went to school to be a health coach. I have not become a health coach yet, because so many other things get in the way. Excuses? Real obstacles? Both really. The bottom line to all of this is that my calling is to help people see themselves the way God sees them, and my craft is to help them see who they are today and imagine who they could be tomorrow. I honestly believe that in order to truly change, though, we have to learn to accept who we are today and learn to love who we are today. Change may be necessary, but acceptance and belief in who we truly are has to come first.